Hello, My Name is Bella and I am an Addict
by catthomas32
Summary: Hello, My Name is Bella and I am an Addict... What happens when Bella, a recovering sex addict, meets the newly-divorced Edward? How will she handle her feelings for him? Can their relationship withstand her secret...or his? Please read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Bella, and I am a sex addict.

This meeting was different, that is for sure. I had always gone to women-only meetings, but this was an open meeting for men and women. Of course, most of those in attendance were men, and most of them were only there out of curiosity or to pick up a new piece of, well, you know. I knew those looks all too well. It seemed I was always getting them from both men and women. I wasn't really into women, but I could definitely appreciate a good-looking woman. And, in a pinch, a woman was better than being alone.

This Seattle chapter of SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) was recommended to me by my doctor back home in Phoenix. Dr. Cullen had been the angel sent from Heaven who saved me. He was originally from Seattle, but had moved to Phoenix to help his wife care for her parents. Rene, or Mom as she insisted I call her, had called me last week to let me know that Mrs. Cullen's mom had passed away and that they were expecting her dad to follow fairly shortly. Dr. Cullen had always told me he wanted to come home to Seattle, so when I told him I had been transferred up there to my company's main publishing house, he was so excited. He gave me advice on where to live, who to use as an insurance agent and the contact information for the local SAA chapter to make sure that I wouldn't miss any meetings. The last thing either of us wanted was to see me fall off the wagon, again.

Dr. Cullen had been my primary care physician since I fifteen, but it only last year, after my 23rd birthday, when he became a permanent fixture in my life. I will never forget the day that my parents, Rene and Charlie, my step-dad, Phil, and my long-term boyfriend, Jacob, along with my best friend, Alice, had conducted an intervention with me immediately following the Christmas holiday. I thought I had done a good job of hiding the drinking and the pills, or so I had managed to convince myself. But when the five of them cornered me on that couch with that therapist, I bucked and bucked hard. I told them I didn't have a problem with alcohol or drugs and that they needed to butt the hell out of my life. I threatened to break up with Jake and disown my parents if they didn't go away and leave me alone. I didn't even have any words for Alice. Her betrayal hurt the most because she knew much more than any of them did about my personal life. Eventually they all backed off for a few days, until that night I wrecked my car and spent the night in lockup. So, with a DUI breathing down my neck, I finally relented and agreed to see Dr. Cullen for a referral to a rehab clinic.

I was so scared when I entered his office. I couldn't think of a way out this mess. When I stormed out of the intervention, I called one of my guy friends and told him I wanted to finally take him up on his offer of partying with him and his two army buddies who were home on leave. He had been bugging me for a week to do it, and after the day I had just experienced, I needed the release. I had never taken three men at once before, and it was such a rush. But, I was drunk and high and pretty sure we didn't use condoms for everything. I was so ashamed. On the outside I was a successful book editor on the fast track in my career. To the world, I had a loving and wonderful boyfriend who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But I knew the truth. I was a druggie, a drunk and a whore and I just plain hurt. The next thing I know, I am bawling like a baby to Dr. Cullen confessing all my sins.

As I broke down in Dr. Cullen's office and told him about about the drinking, the pills and the sex, he looked at me with the most compassionate eyes. I felt him place his hand on my knee as he moved closer to me while I sat on the papered exam table, tears streaming down my face. His other hand went to my chin as I gazed into his golden eyes. He wasn't in his usual lab coat. It was casual Friday and he was wearing a light-weight navy blue sweater, faded jeans and a pair of brown, snake-skin boots. His gaze lasted for what seemed an eternity. My breath hitched as that familiar jolt of electricity took over. He leaned into me, lips almost touching mine, and gently kissed my cheek. I was so confused. He took a deep breath and then pulled his head back. His eyes had changed. They were black with what I thought was lust, but filled with tears. He was obviously waging some type of internal struggle. His hand began to shake on my knee and he transformed into a very frightened and cautious man. His scent was assaulting my senses, a musky woodsy sent that was causing my pulse to to increase and my pupils to dilate.

"How many Bella?" His voice penetrated the thick silence in the room. He sounded unsure, steady, perhaps even fearful of my response.

I watched his lips move, his tongue glide over his straight, white teeth and then nothing. Everything just stopped. His words echoed in my brain and I was unable to cypher their syntax. Bella. Yes, that was me. How was a question word and many was a quantitative term. Bella, how many? Three simple words. The three most terrifying words ever uttered to me.

"Bella, honey?" His voice was like honey, thick and sweet and lingering as it slowing dripped into my ears. "How many?" There were those words again! My brown eyes grew wide and my brain went into auto pilot...count...many...how....one, two, ten, twenty, one hundred, many. I opened my mouth to speak, but my tongue was dry and I was afraid that I would forget to breathe if I spoke. I tilted my head to the side, feeling my long, brown hair cascade across my neck and down my chest. His eyes never left mine and then it struck me. I knew Dr. Cullen as someone else.

"I don't know." It was all I could manage. Did he know who I really was? Could that really be him?

"One or two?" Ah, twenty questions. I could still feel the tremor in his hand as he touched my knee. His eyes inquisitive, but also holding something back. I shook my head. He continued to probe.

"Five?" I blinked as the number rolled around my brain while shaking my head.

"Ten?" My head never quit shaking. He pursed his lips together in steely resolve. They were the palest shade of pink, thin and exfoliated. I pursed my lips in response to his.

"Many more?" His voice shook, but he he never looked away, although I could detect the microscopic increase of his pupils with each number he spoke. I stopped shaking my head and started a slow, deliberate nod entranced by his eyes. Many...there was that word again. More...I always wanted more, needed more. He took a deep breath and resumed his onslaught.

"More than twenty?" My nodding continued. I had never confided to anyone in person exactly how many men I had let take me and make my body theirs. Even Alice was only vaguely aware of just how deep my activities delved.

"Fifty?" He held his breath. I curled my lip up in a slow, aching smile. My head never stopped nodding.

"A hundred?" Just numbers. I continued to nod. His face scrunched up in agony at my revelation. He was sad, and I had to fix that the only way I knew how.

"I don't know, Dr. Cullen." My voice was high-pitched, overly sincere. I batted my eyelashes and bit my lower lip. He cocked his head and then slowly stepped back, but not before I could feel his response against my knee. He quickly averted his eyes, coughed and adjusted himself before turning his back to me. I waited quietly until he turned back around. He ran his hand through his beautiful blonde hair before turning back around to face me. What he said next shocked me back into reality.

"Bella, what I am going to say to you is not to leave this room. Do you understand?" His black eyes stared hungrily at me as he moved towards the door and locked it. I nodded my head. The electricity was heavy in the air and he once again moved towards me. I never flinched. I was a good little girl. I always had been.

"Under these circumstances you need to call me Carlisle." Of course I was to call him Carlisle. We were about to get much better acquainted, only I had no idea just how much so. He put his hand back on my knee and the personal space between us evaporated. His voice seduced me into submission. I was his to do with as he pleased. He took a deep breath.

"Bella, you have what is called a sex addiction. I know because, I, too, am a sex addict."

He waited for the words, the idea, the revelation to sink in.

"Bella, you have a personality very similar to my own. It is called an addictive personality. When we do things, we have an overwhelmingly strong tendency to do them to the extreme. We get a euphoric high when we do these things. We are like an alcoholic, shopaholic or compulsive gambler. We over-do things to get a buzz. Some people over-eat, others over-sleep and some over-exercise. You, my dear, are addicted to sex."

My body was aching. This whole situation was all wrong. Why was he not touching me the way I wanted, no needed to be touched? Why was he babbling on about alcoholics and gambling?

"I have some hard questions to ask you," he said as he took his hand from my knee and sat in the chair across from the papered table. I shook my head and just listened.

"Bella, are you practicing safe sex?" I raised my eyebrows. Again, not what I was expecting to hear, but it made sense to hear in a medical exam. I nodded my head. "Every time?" I paused and then heard my voice.

"Most of the time, I think." Then the fear gripped me hard and I fought back the sobs that were quickly escalating into a panic attack. "Stupid, stupid! I am so stupid! I am going to die, aren't I? Oh, God, Carlisle, there were a few times I haven't, and a few times I can't even remember." He quickly jumped up and took my hand and rubbed soothing circles along the knuckles. "We'll run some tests, but I am sure you are fine. We ran routine blood tests on you a few months ago and everything was clean, but we will run them again just to verify and make sure nothing has changed." My eyes darted around the room. I needed a fix, something to calm me down, a Valium or Xanax or Vicodin. "Calm down, Bella, please," Carlisle pleaded. He hugged me and whispered in my ear that it was all going to be ok and for the first time in a long time, I felt the touch of a man that wasn't sexual, and I was totally and utterly lost.

I regained my composure and as Carlisle handed me some tissue to dry my tears. He told me he was going to send me to a residential facility where they would oversee my physical detox. This particular facility specialized in all types of addictions, including sexual, and while there I would begin intensive therapy sessions to help me begin the recovery process. He said he was starting me on a regimen of anti-depressant medication that would specifically help take the edge off of my compulsive behaviors. He also said it is the same facility he went to and assured me that there is hope for a sustained recovery. This particular facility was out of state and discrete. He left the room and made the necessary arrangements while I waited and wondered. After what seemed forever, he returned.

"Well, Bella, everything is ready. They will take excellent care of you, and I will personally monitor your progress. Once you complete their program we will have to find you a chapter of SAA to attend on a regular basis."

"What is that?" I am sure I sounded stupid, but really had no idea what all these acronyms mean.

"Sex Addicts Anonymous. My chapter is currently males-only, but I am sure we will be able to find local meetings for you to attend. I am pretty sure there is a females-only chapter for you to attend. The bi-weekly meetings will be very important for your recovery." His easy smile made me relax. I decided to ask him more questions.

"How did you know, Carlise? I mean, how did you know that you have a sex addiction?"

He paused and smiled again. "It is a very long story, but one I promise to tell you one day."

I continued to look at him. I had so many questions. "Will I need a sponsor? Like they have in AA?"

His raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yes, after you finish your residential stay we will find you a sponsor to help you." He looked away, thoughtful. Almost as an afterthought he said, "And you can always talk to me."

"Thanks." I didn't know what else to say. Then I decided I just had to come out and say it. "Carlisle, we chatted, didn't we? Aren't you," I began before he abruptly cut me off.

"Yes, Bella." I gasped. Oh, no!

"But, that was a long time ago, before I found help." I continued to listen, captivated by him. "I know what you are going through. The nights of wasted hours looking at porn, surfing for hookups, meaningless sexual encounters and masturbating until it hurts." The words were so hard for him get out. The pain so evident in his features.

"Carlisle?" He looked at me.

"Yes?"

"Is that why you stopped talking to me? Is that why you never showed up that night?"

He breathed a heavy sigh. Slowly, he nodded his head. Then, he turned his head towards mine and smiled again. I thought maybe I saw regret in his eyes.

I pressed on. "Do you still want me like that?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Bella, every day is a struggle for me, as it is for all recovering addicts. I keep the Serenity Prayer with me at all times and recite it when I feel temptation, like now." He paused again and looked me straight in the eyes. "But, Bella, I have committed to my recovery and I am committed to your recovery. My relationship with you can not and will not be sexual." And just like that I felt the sexual tension melt. I jumped off the table and ran into his arms and sobbed again. I trusted him and felt so safe with him there in that room, locked away from all the pain of the world.

"Oh, Carlisle, you are truly an angel sent to save me!." As I pressed myself into him, I couldn't feel his erection.

"God grant me the serenity," I heard him whisper over and over again.

That was over a year ago and Carlisle, and his wife Esme, are like my second parents. My own parents couldn't understand my sex addiction, and so were unable to provide the support I really needed. Had it not been for the support and understanding given to me by Carlisle and Esme, I would never have been able to sustain my recovery. In the end, Alice was the only other person who really stood by my side. Jacob figured it was a phase of some sort, so we decided to take a break from our relationship when I told him I was taking the job in Seattle. As luck would have it, Alice also had the opportunity to move to Seattle. She and I decided to live together since I didn't want to live alone. We both feared the stresses of the move and the new job would trigger another acting out episode, so it was imperative that I begin attending meetings my first night there though since it would be another couple of weeks before Alice arrived. I was on my own until I found a local sponsor to help me through the transition. Carlisle called a friend of his in Seattle and asked her to be my local sponsor. I was actively looking for her as I went to the refreshment table.

"Bella?" I turned around to see a kindly woman in her late 40's or early 50's smiling warmly at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Hi. I'm Elizabeth." She radiated with a glow of serenity as she held out her hand. I took it and returned her smile. She reminded me of the school secretary from high school. You know, the person who really runs a school. She was a beautiful woman who hid her beauty behind large glasses and a librarian's bun. She was elegantly dressed in a pair of black slacks and a simple white blouse. Her only jewelery was a simple gold wedding band. She could easily be my mom, if my mom weren't a flighty over-grown teenager herself.

"Hi. Yes, I am Bella." I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I had found my anchor here in Seattle.

"Carlisle has told me so much about you. I know we will be great friends. Let me give you my cell. Call me anytime, day or night. I am here for you. Would you like to go get some coffee after the meeting or would you prefer to maybe get together for lunch one day this week?" She talked so fast I wondered how she was able to breathe. I was already on sensory overload from the meeting, so maybe she really wasn't talking that fast, but it did take me a second to absorb everything.

"Thanks, I'd really like to do have lunch one day." I hated not feeling up to coffee tonight. "I am pretty tired tonight and don't think I would make good company," I explained as I punched in her cell number.

"Oh, I understand. The first meeting can be overwhelming. There are a lot of newbies here, mostly guys looking for some easy action," she said as she winked at me and laughed. Her laughter was infectious and I couldn't help but relax and crack a smile. "So, are you free for lunch tomorrow?"

"Um, sure, I don't start work until Monday." I rocked back and forth on my feet while I sipped my coke. I didn't usually drink caffeine, but tonight was special.

"Great," she said. "I'll call you around 11:00 then, alright?" Her intense green eyes mirrored the enthusiasm in her voice. I smiled and nodded. She stepped forward and embraced me in an unexpected hug. Her hug reminded me of Esme, and I sighed thinking about my family. I would have to call her and Carlisle and let them know how my first meeting went. As I was thinking through all the things to tell them I heard Elizabeth growl at a couple of guys who were gawking at us.

"Dream on boys!" Her voice jolted me out of my thoughts. I couldn't help but giggle as she scowled at them.

"Well, I guess their MILF fantasies will have to be fulfilled elsewhere, huh?" I continued to giggle at my own joke while she just stared at me, and I began to wonder if she wasn't impressed with my sense of humor. Then, out of nowhere, she busted her gut laughing so hard I thought she was going to cry or pee her pants.

"I see why Carlisle and Esme love you so, Bella. I'll call you tomorrow. Be careful going home." She gave me another hug and left to talk to someone else. I smiled as I headed out to my car. Yep, this was definitely going to be a good thing, my move to Seattle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who is reading my story. I didn't put any notes in my first chapter since I am so new to this, so I need to go ahead and get some things out of the way now. I don't own Twilight or its characters or story line or any of that and am not making any type of monetary profit off of the work or intellectual ideas of SM. Thanks to her for bringing us her marvelous characters and story to inspire the rest of us. **

**I don't have any personal experience with SAA, but if you Google it, as Edward would say, you can find out all about it. Sex addiction is real, so if you think you or a loved one is affected by it, please seek the appropriate help.**

**Now, on with the story...**

My drive home was fairly quiet as I rolled down my window and smelled the sea air that blew in from the West. How diametrically opposite my new home was compared to Phoenix. The sun hid more days than it peeked out and it seemed to rain all the time. I was worried about having to drive in the rain at some point as I could only recall a handful of times it had actually rained enough in Phoenix to slick the roads. Of course, rain was nothing compared to snow, and I hadn't seen snow since I was really little. Then my mind jumped to ice, and I knew that ice could be dangerous and a lot of people died from accidents caused by ice on the ground. Oh, no! Here I go again! My heart rate was increasing and I was afraid I would have a full blown panic attack if I didn't calm down fast. I could see the obituary now flashing across my vision. I took a deep breath and eased my truck over to the shoulder. The one thing I didn't have to worry about was someone hitting my vehicle on the side of the road. My old Chevy truck was bright red and had withstood many a wreck over its almost half-century life-time. It could take out a Sherman tank, and with that thought I started to laugh at the asinine image of my old red baby taking out the entire German military in WWII. Too bad my red baby wasn't born during the war.

Once I had calmed down I eased back onto the highway and looked for a place to grab some dinner. It was only 8:45 pm, and I was pretty hungry. I remembered that there was a small Tex-Mex place near my apartment, so I decided to go there and try it out. I pulled into the parking lot and worried it might be closed as there was only one car in the parking lot. But, the light was on so I went ahead and circled through to the drive through. I ordered their house special, the steak nachos, and headed home.

My new apartment was in an exclusive complex where most of the vehicles were BMW's or Jaguars. Alice had a canary yellow Porsche that would fit in nicely with these other vehicles, but I knew that sooner, rather than later, I would have to find my red baby a new home. I think the only reason no one said anything about how out of place it looked was because it was polished up for antique shows. And, I had a garage to park it in by my apartment that gave me direct access to my front room.

I parked my truck, put the garage door down and went inside to enjoy my meal. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I sat down ton the floor to actually eat. The steak was tender and the flavor divine. I would definitely be going back soon. I kicked back and powered up my laptop as I pulled out my phone to check my messages. I had turned my phone off for the meeting and never bothered to turn it back on, so when I saw all the missed calls and texts, I realized I had some fires to put out and fast.

My first call was to Rene and Phil to let them know I had made it safely and the delivery drivers would be delivering my furniture and everything else in the morning. My next call was to Charlie to let him know that I was here and wanted to drive up to see him as soon as he could get some time off. Charlie actually lived a couple of hours from Seattle in a small town called Forks. I used to go visit him as a kid after he and Rene got divorced. He was one of the deciding factors that helped me decide to take the Seattle job. I had spent most of my life with Rene and her various men, and now it was time to connect with my dad. My next call was to Alice to let her know she needed to hurry her up and get her skinny little pixie-ass up here as soon as possible. I decided not to call Jacob, but just sent him a text to let him know I had arrived. He immediately sent a text back saying how much he was already missing me. I wish I could say the same. He was my best friend, other than Alice, but I was just tired of trying to force something more. Sometimes I wondered if I was just trying to run away from that situation, too.

My final call was to Carlisle and Esme. They put me on speaker phone and asked me a zillion questions. I could hear the longing in Carlisle's voice. He really wanted to come home to Seattle, but was content to live vicariously through me for the time being.

"So, Bella," Carlisle said. I could tell he was going to move the conversation in a different direction. "Did you meet Elizabeth?" There was a long silence on the line as I scoffed and decided how to respond. Of course he knew I had met Elizabeth. I am sure they had sent 50 text messages back and forth in the last hour.

"Uh-huh, but you already knew that," I calmly stated. If only he could see the grin on my face knowing I had got him. I could hear Esme slap him on his arm and tell him he should have known better than to try and get anything past me. Soon they were both laughing, and I had joined them.

"Oh, Bella! Of course she called me immediately after she met you. She can't wait to meet you for lunch tomorrow. You should call her tonight to let her know you made it home, ok?" There was something in his voice I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Why should I bother her when I know you are going to just call her as soon as I hang up with you?" My voice was snotty at first, but the giggles crept out anyway.

"Good point. I will just text her and let you call her, ok?" I found his compromise reasonable and agreed to call her as soon as I hung up with them.

"I like her, Carlisle," I told him. "There is something about her, though, something beautiful?" I was struggling for words to describe my initial impressions of Elizabeth. I heard him sigh.

"Yes, Bella. She is a beautiful person. She is very dear to me. You can trust her the same as you trust us, ok?" I was shocked at the sincerity in his voice and wondered exactly who this woman was to him. "Well, hon, it's late, and we need to get to bed. We are very proud of you, Bella. Now, call Elizabeth and then get some rest." I could hear Esme in the background saying they loved me and missed me and good night.

I hung up the phone and called Elizabeth. She picked up on the first ring. "Bella! Oh, I am so glad you called me. Carlisle just sent me a text saying to expect a call from you." Even over the phone the woman talked faster than a speeding bullet. I was never much of a phone talker, at least not recently. I should have agreed to text her and let Carlisle call. She continued on, "Now what time would you like to meet for lunch, dear?"

"How is 11:30?" I figured the movers should be done by then. If not, I'd text to let her know.

"Alright, dear. Do you know where the Cafe de la Rue is located?"

"Um, no, but if you give me the address, the GPS on my phone can get me there. You can just text it to me." I waited until she agreed and then hastily said good night. She wished me sweet dreams and then hung up.

I decided to check my email and read up on the news. I was bored and it was only 11:00 pm. I wasn't quite ready for bed, or in my case, the pallet on the floor. I decided to take a walk around the complex to clear my mind. It had been such a long day.

The moon was out and lit the sky like a giant flashlight. I put on a light-weight jacket and headed out into the cool March evening. The complex was well-lit, and most of my neighbors were already asleep. I slowly walked along the sidewalk while keeping a hand on the pepper spray Charlie had given me for Christmas. It was one of his usual presents. He wasn't a man to say much, but I knew the pepper spray was his way of saying he loved me and wanted to keep me safe.

I passed by the 6th building when I heard laughter coming from the second story patio. It was nice to hear someone was having a good time. As I got closer I could hear guy's voices.

"Yeah," one of them was saying. "She was one hot piece of ass. I would have given anything to see them make out in front of us!" I stopped and looked up to where the voices were coming from. "Hell, yeah!" the other voice said. "That MILF was too much! I'd love for her to teach me a thing or two."

I continued to listen to them; I just couldn't help myself. It was like trying to drive past a train wreck. You just can't take your eyes off of it, or in my case, my ears. I am pretty sure they were drinking or smoking something. "Yeah, that brunette, I bet she is tighter than a drum. I'd love to crawl up in there and never come out." His friend gave him a high-five and then said, "What was it the MILF called her? Beth? Brenda? No, wait! It was Bella!"

I froze. They couldn't be talking about me and Elizabeth, could they? I kept listening.

"Yeah, Bella. Oh, Bella!" the one guy kept howling over and over. Then his friend chimed in, "Oh, Bella, fuck, baby, oh, you are so tight, baby, yeah!" I listened and watched in horror as they continued their little fantasy. It was actually kind of funny until they pulled out their cocks and started to jack off saying my name. Holy cow! All I could do was just lean up against the wall and close my eyes as I felt the desire begin to build. Just as I was going to do something I heard a door open across and caddy-corner from me. I panicked and ran to the side of the building. I was pretty sure the guy didn't see me. I peeked around and saw a tall man with unruly copper hair step out of his apartment. He seems angry. My heart was racing, and I felt like I had been caught doing something very, very wrong. All I could do was breath and silently wait to see what would happen next.


	3. Chapter 3

**SM owns Twilight, not me. **

**Now, on with the story...**

My heart was pounding as I leaned up against the wall. I peeked around again. The guy was wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt. He was barefoot and shaking his head. He was probably about six feet tall with a slender, muscular build. His skin appeared rather pale in the moonlight since there was little sun around here. One hand reached up and he ran it through his unruly, copper-tinted hair while the other hand was in front of his face pinching the bridge of his nose from what I could see. He was probably in his late twenties or early thirties. He seemed to be trying to calm himself down because I could swear I saw him shaking a bit. It was chilly out, but I don't think it was the air that was affecting him. He glanced back into the doorway of his apartment like he was looking for something. He then suddenly looked up to the patio where my two admirers were having their private party.

"Emmet McCarty and Jasper Whitlock!" Everything stilled and silence followed. I swore I could hear him breathing with quick intakes of air that he slowly exhaled.

"Oh, shit! What the fuck does he want now?" The voice from the patio shattered the stillness of the March night. I immediately recognized the voice as that of the guy who remembered my name from the SAA meeting. I kept watching and listening, intrigued by the exchange taking place in front of me.

"Who the fuck cares?" replied the other guy.

"You better care and fast you two idiots!" His voice was commanding. He was angry, and much more angry than someone who had been woken up by a couple of drunk and horny guys jacking off in the moonlight.

I was so caught up in the exchange between the barefooted guy and the two dunk idiots on the patio that I almost didn't see her. From behind the door of the guy's apartment two big, green eyes surrounded by curly blonde hair peeked out to see what was happening. She intently stared at the man in front of her and blinked as she listened to their arguing. She was wearing a blue princess nightgown and matching slippers. She was all of three years old, if that. I was mesmerized by her. She walked up to the man in the door and pulled on his pant leg. He didn't seem to notice her.

"If you two drunk asses don't cut it out, I will call the cops and the folks!" The laughter from the patio ceased. The threat seemed to work since the two drunk asses got quiet really fast.

"Awww, Edward, you always spoil all our fun!" The two guys were actually pouting! Two grown men, cocks in hand, pouting because this man had threatened to call the law and their parents? Unbelievable. I shook my head and made a slight noise that caught the attention of the two big, green eyes framed by cascading blonde curls.

"Go back inside Mary Elizabeth. Daddy just has to help Uncle Emmet and Uncle Jasper to bed, ok?" The man looked down to the little girl who was still tugging at his pant leg, but he did not follow her line of sight back to me.

"Shit, man!" My eyes jerked upward, back to patio. One of the guys from the patio swaggered into view. He was a large, stocky fellow. Probably a football player when he was younger. He quickly pulled his pants up and had a sheepish look highlighted by deep dimples. "I forgot you had the kids tonight, bro!" There was a short pause as I watched the burly fellow turn around to expose his short, dark hair. "Jasper, he has the kids you dumb-ass!" The other man emerged from the shadows of the patio with a crest-fallen look. His build was slighter and he had droopy blue eyes and short curly blonde hair. Unlike his friend, I noticed that his pants had already been pulled up.

The blone spoke in slow, deliberate words, "Damn, Edward." He paused. "Man, we totally forgot." Another pause. "We'll make it up to you."

"It isn't me you have to make it up to!" And with that the barefoot man turned around and scooted the little girl into his apartment as she continued to tug on his pant leg. Just before she went over the threshold, I could swear she smiled and waved at me, but it was late, and still kind of dark. The man shut the door, and I heard him lock the deadbolt.

"Think he will really call Mom and Dad?" I looked up again. I think it was the one called Emmet who was speaking. "Dude, I'd rather deal with the cops than have to listen to the folks, know what I mean little bro?"

"Yep, I do, my bro, yep, I do." He paused. "Let's call it a night and get inside before he comes out and starts bitching at us again." The one called Jasper opened the door and started to go inside.

"Man, you can't blame him. Those kids are all he lives for after what that bitch of an ex-wife Tanya did to him. He loved her sorry ass since the sixth grade and look what she did." The big guy was shaking his head as he spoke.

"Yeah. It just drudged up all that shit with Mom again. We need to take him and the kids out to breakfast in the morning." And with that, I heard the door to the patio shut.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and decided I needed to high-tail it back to my apartment. Just as I was making my way around the corner, I heard a door open and a little girl's voice say, "But, Daddy! She was really there! Look!"

Before I had the chance to turn around I heard her father's voice say, "Mary Elizabeth, no one is here, see?" Just as his hand swept around the entrance to the door my eyes locked with his and he froze.

"Um, hi." I felt a heated blush run over my skin. I hated that I did that when I was embarassed. I bit my lower lip and waited for him to say something. While I waited, I tilted my head and looked closer at this man. He seemed familiar somehow to me, which struck me as odd since I didn't know anyone in Seattle, aside from Elizabeth. I scanned his strong jaw and Patrician nose. His eyebrows were thick, but not overly so. But his gaze is what caught my attention. Huge pools of green emeralds reflecting the moonlight mirrored the little girl's.

"Um, hi," came a high-pitched response. The little girl waved her hand at me and then did something totally unexpected. She marched out of her apartment and stood right in front of me. I am not sure who was more shocked, me or her father.

"I'm Mary Elizabeth, the prettiest little girl in the world and this is my daddy. His name is Edward and he is the prettiest daddy in the world." My jaw dropped as I listened to her introductions. "You should come inside for some tea. You look cold." Immediately her father spoke up.

"Mary Elizabeth, I think the nice lady probably needs to get home. Now get in here and go to bed." He was stern, but gentle in his tone of voice.

"But Daddy, she hasn't met Drake, and I don't even know her name!" The little girl's eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Um, Bella. My name is Bella Swan. I just moved into that building over there," I said as I pointed across the complex. "It is very nice to meet you Miss Mary Elizabeth and Mister Edward." I curtsied as I winked at her father. "I thank you for your kind offer, but I must agree with Mister Edward. It is late, and I must be getting home. I do hope I can meet Drake another time?" I prayed she would buy my act and not cry. I can't handle tears.

She wiped her eyes and smiled. "Like the bird!" She laughed and twirled around. Her blue princess dress poofed out as she spun around. Then she turned to her father and said, "I like the pretty bird lady." Then she turned around one more time and danced inside. The man shook his head as a smile slowly crept across his lips. I was totally captivated by his features. Although he was tired, he was incredibly attractive. I decided I should break the awkward silence.

"Nice to meet you Edward." He looked up and smiled. "She is quite the little lady," I continued. "I am sure you and her mom are very proud of her." I couldn't help but notice that he winced at the mention of her mother, but I acted like I didn't notice.

"Yes, I am very proud of her and her brother. I am sorry that she put you on the spot like that," he hesitated before he continued, "And I hope you didn't have to endure too much of my brothers' immature behavior earlier." His demeanor changed at the mention of the two dunks from the patio. His smile vanished and was replaced by a hard look as he glanced upward.

"Oh, don't worry about it,' i told him. "I really should get going. The movers will be here in the morning with my furniture and everything." I quickly glanced down toward his hands. No ring. Since when did I look to see if a man was married? "

"Well, goodnight, Bella." I felt the stangest warmth stirring within me as my name rolled off his tongue. What was wrong with me? I felt like I was grinning like an idiot as I realized I wanted to hear him say my name again, and very soon. I quickly snapped back to reality.

"Goodnight, Edward." I quickly spun around and headed back to my apartment. Out of the corner of my eye I was quite certain that I saw a pair of big, green eyes following me as I walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Again, Twilight belongs to SM, not me. Thanks again to her for allowing us to indulge our little fantasies using her characters.**

**Now, on with the story...**

_My heart was racing with excitement and my panties, what there were of them, were absolutely saturated. I was floating into bliss after the pills kicked in. Leave it up to Mike to have just what I liked...Valium and codeine washed down with the gentleman's liquor of choice. No cares, I had no cares. Just feeling, and feeling their hands on me was only pushing me higher._

"_Told you guys that Bella is the best, didn't I?" Mike's voice encompassed me as he nibbled on my ear and grabbed my ass. The music in the background was fueling my fire as were the moaning and grunting and slapping noises coming from the huge flat screen television on the wall. "Like the inspiration movie guys?" I felt Mike's familiar tongue ghost my earlobe, giving me delightful shivers. _

"_Hell, yeah, buddy!" I didn't recognize the guy's voice, but it wasn't Mike's. _

"_I am in total fucking agreement!" Another voice I didn't recognize, but I liked that word, fucking. _

"_Fucking," I said, "Mmmmm.....yes." My body swayed to the sounds as I felt my panties being pulled down by a tongue on my right and a tongue on my left. A hand was cupping my left breast and I felt the hot breath of another tongue pebble my nipple. _

"_Look at that whore take all those dicks, man!" Mike laughed as he listened to his friend critique the video on the screen. _

"_Well," Mike whispered into my ear. "How many cocks can you take tonight, Bella?" _

"_This girl is dripping wet for us, guys!" It was one of those unfamiliar voices. James and Tyler I think were their names. Like I really cared. I just wanted their cocks. I felt two pairs of lips on my neck and and two hard dicks pushing into my legs. Another cock was pressed into my stomach as a foreign tongue pressed between my lips. _

"_Ok, who wants to fuck her pussy first?" Mike's voice vibrated against my neck as his hand went down my ass and started to rub my wet pussy. _

"_I want her ass first, man!" _

"_I want her mouth!" _

"_Hear that, Bella, they want every part of you," Mike purred into my ear as he slowly pumped his fingers into my hot, dripping hole._

"_Tell us what you want dear," Mike asked as his breathing increased. "We want to hear you say it." I felt a tongue lap against my clit as my core was being pumped faster and faster by Mike's fingers. "Don't be coy, babe, tell us exactly what you want."_

_I wanted to feel them all in me at once while I floated into oblivion. I wanted the pounding, the quickening, the orgasms to never stop. "Fuck me! Fuck every hole. I want you to share me and take turns claiming each of my holes!" _

"_Smile for the camera!" My eyes opened to see one of the guys with his video camera running as the first cock rammed my pussy. Mike was bending me over listening to his buddies cheer him on. I felt another cock tickle my tongue as I envisioned myself on the large flat screen. Watching myself being taken first by Mike and then by Tyler on the flat screen aroused me beyond what I could ever imagine. If I were a crack addict, instead of a dick addict, this would feel like my first hit that I would forever be chasing until I died. I felt another wave of extreme pleasure take over. _

"_I want her ass! Bella, baby, how does this feel?" James' voice echoed throughout the room as I felt him pour lube all over my tight asshole. "How many times have you taken her ass, Mike, my friend?" he inquired as I felt the head of his cock massage my puckered opening. _

"_Never, man." I felt my head shake as he shared this knowledge with his buddies. _

"_So, Bella, want me to take your ass now or wait until Tyler has his dick buried deep in your pussy first?" The excitement and lust were overwhelming me. I'd done double penetration before, but these guys had huge dicks and after that damn intervention, I needed more than I'd ever had. Something different, exciting, and 2 guys I had never met fit the bill. My mind wandered to double vaginal and anal, double anal and vaginal. All were new, all were hot and I was getting fix after fix tonight. I was determined to be fucked into feeling numb. Another orgasm rocked through me as I watched myself being made these dicks' fuck doll. I could hear my breathing over the speakers. Sex was all I saw, felt, thought, needed. Fuck, fuck, fuck me, fuck me, fuck, "YES!" I couldn't contain myself any longer. The jeers of the dicks were overwhelming my senses. Each one at least 8 inches long and rock hard. Mike promised his friends were hung like fucking horses, and that was an understatement. I was their mare tonight to be taken over and over and over._

_I straddled Tyler on the brown leather couch and sunk down on his rigid pole. His face was fuzzy on the screen, a mix of raw desire and insane pleasure. I leaned forward and ground my clit against him. "Bella, fuck!" I smiled as I turned my head and wrapped my lips around Mike's dick. He slid his cock easily down my throat; I was so relaxed there was no gagging. _

"_That's my girl!" he grunted as he pumped my throat. "Never gags, ever!" I felt his balls slap against my chin as I felt the hot, pulsating, bulging head of James' dick knock on my tight asshole once again. The lube was slick and I came and came and came as I felt his head break through my first barrier and then my second. My spasms were the most intense I had ever experienced. "Oh, God!!!" was all I could think or say. "Oh, My God!!!" I opened my eyes and the man in front of me who was furiously bucking himself deeper and deeper into my pussy was staring at me intensely with emerald green eyes and unruly copper hair..._

I jerked up. I was still humping my pillow furiously as I came again. Shit! My dreams had not been that vivid since, well, I can't even remember. I started to get off the floor and got dizzy. Shit! Shit! Shit! There is no telling how many orgasms I had last night, but my system was flooded with endorphins. And his face, I couldn't get his face out of my mind. I leaned against the wall and squeezed my thighs together as a full force waking orgasm slammed me again. I fell against the wall and slowly slid down as I rode the intense high I thought I could never reach. Tears streamed down my face. As euphoric as this feeling was, in the back of my mind a small voice was telling me that I was once again on the road to Hell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews, guys. I have had a request for Edward's point of view in this story. I haven't decided yet if I will post a parallel story for him later or give alternating view points throughout this story. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter.**

**Once again, Twilight is the intellectual property of SM. Love to SM for allowing us to play with her characters. If you like the FF stories, go buy her Twilight Saga books and see the movies. I don't get anything except joy from my stories. **

**On with the story...**

"But Carlisle," I interjected. "It was the most intense dream I have ever experienced. I mean, I had an orgasm that knocked me off of my feet after I woke up!" I was frantic with fear. I just knew that I was going to act out and ruin my sobriety, I just knew it.

"Calm down, Bella. It was only a dream. Tell me, what did you eat before you went to sleep?"

"Carlisle, are you seriously asking me about my dinner last night?" I asked him in a sarcastic tone.

"Yes, Bella, I am. Should I be asking you what your drug test results would be instead?"

"No. of course not. You know the only meds in my system are the ones you prescribed, and those wouldn't contribute to my dreams, would they?" My tone was playful, but still bordered on accusatory. He could interpret it either way at this point.

"No, Bella. You have been on your Wellbutrin for over a year now, and this is the first time you have had these dreams, so it isn't your meds. It is probably just the stress of the move more than anything else." I listened as he calmly tried to reason with me. "And whatever you ate for dinner." He paused and then let out a small chuckle.

"But Carlisle, I feel like I did after the last time I acted out. I know it has been almost 6 months, but the feelings are just as intense." No, that wasn't entirely true. These feelings were much more intense. His face, I was shocked and amazed and pleased all at once to see Edward's face in my dream. It was more than lust that I felt when I remembered that. I was so confused and getting more and more frustrated that I couldn't get Carlisle to understand just how afraid I was now that I would have a relapse.

"Bella, go take a hot shower and relax. You didn't relapse and your aren't going to relapse. If you are really that worried, call Elizabeth to come sit with you while the movers are there this morning. I am sure she would be happy to start your lunch date early." Carlisle sounded so sure of himself. His trust in me was greater than even my own. I miss him so much. "Doctor's orders, Bella." I rolled my eyes when he said that. "And stop rolling those eyes at me." How does he do it? I let out a small laugh. I was finally relaxing a bit, so I relented.

"Ok, Doc. I'll do that. I'll call tonight. Give my love to Esme." I shook my head as I listened to him tell me goodbye.

Call Elizabeth, huh? I don't really know her enough yet to share my dream with her. I didn't even feel comfortable sharing the most important part with Calisle, and he had been my sponsor ever since I returned from rehab. I am sure I can get through the morning. The movers should be here anytime. I glanced at the clock. It read 7:25 am. They had already told me to expect them at 8:00 am. It was only a few more minutes, so I put on a pot of coffee and logged onto my computer to check the daily news.

Sure enough, the doorbell rang right at 8:00 am. An ugly, stout woman in her 40's stood at my door in stretch jeans and a company shirt saying "We Deliver For You. " She was overweight and was wearing a Dallas Cowboys cap. I cocked my eyebrow at her. If I was afraid I would get horny this morning, I was gladly mistaken. I laughed to myself as I wondered where she kept the ugly stick she had been beaten with.

"Mrs. Swan?" the lady asked in a surprisingly pleasant voice. I was quick to correct her mistake.

"Miss Swan, actually." She smiled as I made her perfectly aware of my marital status. She blushed and apologized. Behind her were three very cute boys who all appeared to be in their early twenties. It was obvious they were related.

"Well, MISS Swan," and I couldn't help but giggle as she emphasized the MISS part. "I am Mrs. Cope and these are my boys. You have placed your trust in our family operation and we promise to treat everything we handle as though it were our own." Her smile was so warm and inviting. Her inner beauty radiated and quickly overshadowed her outer appearance.

"Thank-you Mrs. Cope. Would you or your boys like some fresh coffee this morning?" I am sure she could smell the rich wake-me-up aroma from where we were standing.

"How very thoughtful dear. Why, yes, of course." I just couldn't resist the next thing I said.

"Have you and the boys had breakfast? I have some donuts here if you would like to add them to the coffee." I thought the old woman was going to cry. Geeze, didn't they have hospitality up here. Must be my small-town roots showing.

"You don't have to go to any trouble, dear."

I raised my hand and dismissed her comment. "No trouble at all. Let me just put everything out on the counters and you and your boys can help yourselves." A part of me couldn't help but wonder if the only reason I was really being so nice was to ensure that they really did take extra special care of my possessions. I shuffled around my bare kitchen where I opened the box of donuts from the pantry and put out some paper cups for them to put their coffee in. I was amazed at how quickly and efficiently they moved all of our things in and got everything set up for the household. I smiled and thought how the smallest gestures can yield the largest, albeit unexpected, results.

Three hours, 4 pots of coffee and one box of donuts later, I was finally moved in. I had already picked out my room. Alice could chose from the remaining two, and whichever one was left, we'd rent out to help us cover all our expenses. That was the plan for now, anyway.

My drive to the restaurant was easy. My GPS had no trouble getting me there on time. The atmosphere warm and inviting. Classical music played softly in the background. They seemed fairly busy, and I had to search for Elizabeth. Luckily she spotted me first and waved for me to join her. Her smile was bright, and I immediately felt a sort of relief.

"Bella, Bella. Over here dear." She waved her had towards the table, and I had to concentrate very hard to make sure I didn't trip. I was wearing jeans and a Phoenix Cardinals t-shirt with my most comfortable pair of Nike Air shoes. My hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and my skin was sans makeup. I was a natural beauty, or at least I liked to think that. In reality I was just too lazy to spend a lot of time on getting dressed up knowing I still had unpacking to do after I went back to the new apartment.

"I am so glad you could make it today, dear," Elizabeth told me as she hugged me the way Esme used to hug me. "I hope you like French Cuisine." I panicked. I knew nothing about French food other than French fries and French toast and French bread. She seemed to sense my unease at her comment. "What's wrong?" She seemed genuinely concerned.

"Well, I am more of a fast-food girl. Fancy foods and wine aren't my thing." I could feel the blush creeping across my face at my embarrassment. Elizabeth took my hand into hers and flashed her million-dollar smile at me again. "Well, I can't wait to teach you all about it. It will be a wonderful bonding experience for just us girls." Any hesitations I had about this woman were vanishing quickly with each smile and gentle touch.

"I'd like that," I told her. She patted the back of my hand again before she took her menu and gestured for me to do the same.

"So, how has the move been for you? Carlisle said he was a little concerned that you might be getting a bit stressed about everything." She never once took her eyes off the menu, so she didn't see my face grow even more pale at her comment. "Anything you need to talk about today?" The way she asked was so motherly and caring, I just started pouring out everything that had happened the night before, including the main parts of my dream.

She listened patiently as the waiter came and left many times. Each time he would return with something new, and I would take a break in my story to savor the new flavors. I wish I could say I was actually paying attention to what Elizabeth was saying, but I wasn't. I was so wrapped up in my own story. Once I had finished, she put her napkin down and gave me a no-nonsense look. "Thank you, Bella, for confiding in me. Surely you feel better now that you have gotten that off of your chest?" Her question lingered in the air around us. How did I feel? Well, I wasn't in panic overload, so yeah, I must have been doing better. She waited patiently as a knowing smile crept across my lips.

"Yes, I actually do." It was all I could think to say.

"Well, wonderful. Now, how about some desert?" She smiled that dazzling smile again and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had known her for my entire life. I could definitely see myself trusting her.

"So, what looks appetizing on the desert list?" She had averted her gaze back to the menu.

"Oh, I don't know. Everything you ordered for us was so good. I think you should pick again." I smiled, and she nodded her head in acceptance.

After the most decadent desert known to man that had some chocolate in it, but what it was called, I have no idea, I had relaxed enough around her to ask the one question that kept popping up in my mind. "Um, Elizabeth, how do you know Carlisle and Esme?" She paused and momentarily lost her composure before quickly recovering. Her eyes lost their spark and she took on a look of sadness and regret. "It's OK if you don't want to tell me about it. I was just curious is all." I just shrugged my sholders.

"No, no, that is a valid question." She looked away in deep thought before speaking. "You know, maybe I should discuss this with Carlisle first, ok?"

"Ok," I mumbled back. Time for me to change the subject. "So, how long have you been attending the meetings?" She seemed to light back up with this question.

"Oh, for a few years now. I am a seasoned pro, that is for sure." I really wasn't sure how to take that, so I decided to just gloss over that part of the conversation. I glanced at my watch. It was almost 2 pm. I would miss long lunches once I started back to work next week. "My, my, look at the time. I need to get going dear." I felt as though she had read my mind. "Call me tonight, OK?" Her eyes, a beautiful green-amber color, looked at me as I said, "Of course." We hugged goodbye, and much to my surprise, it didn't feel awkward or forced.

I headed back to the apartment complex and decided to venture out for another walk again. The weather was still pleasantly cool compared to Phoenix, and I didn't want to waste a moment of it. I parked my truck and dropped my purse in the apartment. I carried my pepper spray and my keys in one of my pockets. As I walked around I noticed the other vehicles and the various decorations and furniture other tenants had. I also passed by a huge in-ground pool that was currently closed. I also passed the main offices, the gym, laundry center and post office boxes. Just beyond the post office boxes was a playground with swings, a small sand box and other play ground equipment. I wandered over to the swings and sat down on one and twirled around and around until I was dizzy. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. The last time I was on a swing, I was half-naked and riding some guy as he would swing us back and forth. That was an interesting night.

"Bella! Bella!" A high-pitched voice jolted me from my memory. "See Daddy! I told you it was our new friend Bella!" I stopped the movement of the swing and sat perfectly still as I watched the little girl from last night barrel toward me and then jump on my lap. "Hi!" Her big green eyes were radiant as she bounced on my knee. I was so stunned that I didn't hear the enraged cries of her father to stop. He was followed by a young boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old who had the same unruly copper hair.

"Mary Elizabeth! The next time I tell you to stop, you need to stop!" He looked more panicked than angry. He halted in front of me on my swing, and his features softened as he took in the picture of his daughter bounced excitedly on my knee. It seemed she wasn't having any of what her father was dishing out to her.

"Drake! Drake!" The little girl pointed excitedly to the young boy. "Miss Bella, this is my big brother Drake! You didn't get to see him last night."

"I am so sorry, Bella," Edward was saying as he looked at us. My eyes grew wide as I looked into the face from my dream last night. His voice enveloped me as I felt my tell-tale blush slowly creep up my cheeks. I couldn't contain my smile.

"Oh, it's fine," I assured him. I just gazed at him as I listened to the little girl giggle. Drake stayed behind his father, and seemed much more cautious.

"Mary Elizabeth, go play on the merry-go-round with your brother. Drake, go with her." The boy nodded and Mary Elizabeth jumped off of me singing about beautiful bird ladies. I suddenly felt an odd emptiness with her departure. I had never thought myself the mother-type, but I had an overwhelming desire to protect that little girl and her brother from all the evil in the world. Edward let out a huge sigh. He seemed perplexed by the situation, or possibly embarrassed.

"Edward?" I asked. He slowly lifted his head and looked at me. "Is something wrong?" I had a dark feeling inside, the kind that warns you a storm is blowing in.

"Wrong?" He suddenly looked very tired and at a loss for words. "No, not wrong."

I bit my bottom lip and turned away to watch the children play.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's just," he seemed to be struggling to find just the right words. "It is just that ever since my divorce she has been so sad. Last night, with you, it was the first time she has laughed and seemed happy in months." I sat in the swing, stunned to hear what he was saying. "Are you a teacher or do you have any children?" he asked. His eyes looked at me questioningly.

"Um, no. No kids," I replied as I shook my head. "No husband or boyfriend for that matter." I could not believe I had just said that! I blushed an even darker shade of crimson as I looked away and hastily added, "I actually work in publishing." Whew! What a save, I hoped. I slowly lifted my eyes to his as I listened to my heart beat out of my chest.

"I would never have guessed," he said. "You are a natural with children. She hasn't stopped talking about you."

I had no idea what to say. I just turned back toward the Merry-go-round and continued to watch the kids. When Mary Elizabeth saw me looking at her and her brother, she came bounding towards me again. This time she jumped on her dad's lap. "Daddy?"

"Yes, honey?" I listened intently, tried to act like I wasn't paying that much attention.

"Can Miss Bella come over for dinner tonight? If she doesn't, I won't get to see her again for a whole week!" Now, _that_ got my attention. Why a whole week?

Before he had a chance to say no, she said, "Please?" She batted her long, black eyelashes at him. He never had a chance.

"Well, Miss Bella," he started, "would you care to join us for dinner this evening? " His smile was sincere, so I started nodding my head.

"Sure, that sounds great. What time should I be there and what can I bring?"

He chuckled, "Just yourself, about 6:00 pm? You remember the place, right?" I could tell he was trying to be funny.

"I think I can manage," I stated in a playfully sarcastic tone.

"Yea!" Mary Elizabeth jumped down and ran to her brother to share the good news. Drake didn't seem too interested, but his sister was oblivious. She turned back around and bounced up on my lap again. "My daddy can cook real good. Tonight is pizza night. He makes the salad and the pizza man brings the pizza." And just like that, she jumped down again and started twirling around, laughing an infectious tune.

"Well, I need to head back, " told Edward. "I'll see you at 6:00." He hesitated again. "Bella," he said. "Thanks. You have no idea what this means to her, or to me." Something flashed across his eyes with that last remark. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something there.

"Anytime. Bye, Edward." He just nodded his head as I turned around. "Bye Mary Elizabeth! Bye Drake! I will see you tonight!" As I turned to walk away I listened to their joyous laughter. I was going to have dinner with Edward and his kids. Sobriety never felt so good.


	6. Chapter 6

**No infringement intended to SM. All I get from this story is joy, no money. Thanks for SM for allowing us the liberty to have fun with the names of her characters.**

**Now, on with the story.....  
**

The apartment seemed strange, even with my things moved in. It felt empty. I missed Alice. I decided to call her. I took out my cell phone and punched in her number. Ring, Ring, Ring. No answer. Just Alice's little message. "This is Alice, you know what to do after the beep. BEEP! Heheheh!" I waited for the real beep before leaving her a message.

"Hey, girl. Call me when you can. I got your stuff piled up in one of the bedrooms. We need to get on with finding a 3rd roomie to help with rent ASAP. Love you!" The silence on the end of the line was eerie after I ended the call. I decided to start putting up some dishes that were hopefully in a box in the kitchen. I brought my phone with me and laid it on the counter. My dishes were antiques, given to me by my grandmother. They were a beautiful cobalt blue Wedgewood pattern. She loved to have tea parties with me when I was little. I remember being so excited that she would use her beautiful tea pot and cups and saucers when we had tea. Seeing her dishes in my new home made me feel a little better about being alone for a while longer.

DING! My phone dinged with a text message. I picked up the phone and read my message. Shopping. I better have biggest closet! Luv Alice!

Yikes! I hadn't even thought to look at the closets. I ran to look at the one in her designated room. It was a nice, walk-in closet complete with organizers. Whew, it should be OK. I went and compared her closet to the other two. They were actually the same size, so I felt like I had dodged a bullet with that one for sure. I went into my room and sat on the bed that the movers had put up for me. I hadn't put any linens on it yet. There were boxes scattered all over the room, some of them labeled with Alice's name. I could feel my frustration level starting to go up. I went over to one of the boxes and began to unpack the items in it. As I got to the bottom of the box I felt a surge of panic overtake me. It was broken! The plaque that I had made with my grandma was busted into pieces. We had made it when I was little. We took plaster and put it in a big rectangle pie tin. Then, we put our hands in it like they did in Hollywood. My little hand was right next to her big hand, and now it was all broken! I shoved my hand into the box and felt a sting on my hand. When I pulled my hand up there was blood dripping on the floor. Damn! I slid down to the floor and started to cry. I knew it was silly to cry over a stupid broken plaque and a little cut on my hand, but I felt so awful. I hated feeling like this, so out of control, so alone. I continued to dig in the box and found a toy. I fingered it affectionately. I thought I had discarded this long ago. It was long, pink, soft. I wondered if the batteries still worked. I turned it on, and sure enough the vibrations were as strong as ever. This had been my favorite intimate toy. It could make me feel so good and help take all the pain away, even if just for a little while. I took it and walked to the living room.

The brown leather couch a welcoming friend who wrapped itself around me. I had placed my toy on the coffee table, which the movers had placed in a good spot in front of the couch, and opened up my laptop. My hands were shaking. I was so nervous. I could do this. I wasn't hurting anyone. It just wasn't that big of a deal. Besides, this wasn't illegal or immoral. I continued to rationalize with myself as I typed in the name of a reliable old website that had a wide variety of free videos that were quite erotic. I clicked on the first one that looked interesting. Double penetration on a big, brown, leather couch. I slid my pants off and then my underwear. I stared at the screen as I watched how each man manipulated the girl's warm folds. She glistened with moisture, and I could feel myself becoming more and more wet, my insides throbbing with desire. I glanced over to my toy. I got up and took my toy into the kitchen where I washed it before returning to the couch. I kept getting more and more aroused as each man pounded her pussy, taking turns as she moaned in pleasure. While she was taking one hot dick in her main hole, the other dick was sliding in and out of her mouth. I took my toy and started to suck on it. I sucked it in sync with the blow job on the screen.

After a few minutes she straddled the guy with the largest cock and leaned forward and pressed her tits into his chest. The other guy slowly came up behind her and lubed up a finger before methodically finger-fucking her tight ass. I took my toy and slowly inserted it into my burning fire. I hadn't been penetrated in so long that it actually hurt before I pushed it up and in. I clicked on the switch and felt the powerful vibrations course through me. I threw my head back as I bucked in time to the video. Just as the second guy slid the head of his hard cock into the chick's ass, I came hard. I was dizzy and faint, but just left my toy in my throbbing pussy. The feeling was an incredible release. My hand didn't hurt and neither did my heart. I was free floating and enjoying the sensations building up again in my belly.

They actress changed positions and sat on the guy with the smaller dick. Once again she leaned forward, only this time she pulled her ass cheeks apart wide. I smiled as I continued to watch her debauchery. The guy with the huge dick, much larger than I had originally realized, started to stretch her tight asshole even more than the first guy. He had to have been as thick as a beer can and I was getting more and more excited watching her wince and breathe as he inched his way up her tight ass. He had almost entered her all the way when he stopped and leaned up to her ear and told her how tight she was. Then he slammed his huge cock as hard as he could the rest of the way up her ass and balled her tight asshole as I came again and again.

I woke up a few minutes later to find the toy was still on, but my pussy spasms had pushed it out of my vagina sometime earlier. The computer screen was black and the only sound was my own breathing. I was still tingling. I knew this was wrong, but I hadn't fucked anyone. I had just let off some steam with a toy and a video. Besides, after all I had been through, I deserved this. I got up, lightheaded, and cleaned up the couch and the toy. I put it back in the box and hid the box in the back of my closet. I'd deal with it later. I glanced up at the clock. It was almost 5:00 pm, and I still had to get ready for my dinner date with Edward. The thought of him sent electric currents through my body. I can't remember the last time I had fucked a nice guy with a couple of kids. What was I thinking! Edward was more than a fuck and he would be more than a fuck. I just didn't know how to make him more, and I could feel the anxiety level building again.

I jumped into the shower. I lathered up and used the shower head to rinse off. It was attached to a hose so I could pulsate the water anywhere on my body. Soon, I was feeling the pulsation between my legs, and I angled the spray onto my engorged clit. I remembered this feeling from the neighbor's pool in Phoenix. I loved to have him fuck me from behind in the water while I leaned forward and let the water jets pound on my clit. Once he even took me up the ass while I was enjoying the water pelting my pussy. I came so hard. The memory was overwhelming, and along with the pulsating spray on my clit now, I felt my release spiraling once again. I bent my knees and felt my body shake with the hot fire as I concentrated on not slipping and falling. I panted as I turned off the water. I was definitely high.

I quickly dried off and got ready to head over to Edward's. I had come down from my high enough to appear very happy and not stoned. I decided to wear a pair of jeans and a nice casual blouse. I paired it with tennis shoes and a light jacket. I hoped he liked it. I also hoped his kids liked it, too.

At 6:00 pm I found myself standing outside Edward's apartment. I nervously pressed his doorbell. I took a deep breath. I was still feeling good from my naughty exploits earlier in the day. The door opened and Edward smiled. I felt his eyes appraise me as he invited me inside.

"Bella, I am so glad you could come."

"Dad! Is the pizza here yet?" I assumed it was Drake.

"No. It is Bella." Edward smiled as he motioned for me to sit on his couch.

"So, where is Mary Elizabeth?" I asked.

"Oh, she is getting ready. She can't decide which shoes you would like the best." He shook his head.

"Well, I will like whatever she has on," I assured him.

"Thanks. I see why she is taken with you. You have a good heart." He looked away as he complimented me.

"Thanks, I appreciate that." A big heart? He really has no idea. I am a big whore and if he had any idea what my heart was really like, he would have kicked me out before I entered the apartment. The blackness in my heart was opening up again, and it was worse than earlier today. I felt a panic attack coming on.

"Bella! Bella!" I instantly relaxed. How does she do that? Out bounced Mary Elizabeth. She was wearing a pink Cinderella shirt and jeans with matching pink crocs.

"Hello, your highness," I said. "I have never met a princess before. Do you know my friend, Mary Elizabeth?" I asked. She looked a bit puzzled at first. Then I curtsied. She started to giggle. "Your pink crocs are beautiful, your majesty," I continued.

"Bella! You are so silly! It is me! Mary Elizabeth!" She put her hands on her hips and looked at me in a very matter-of-fact way. I looked at her and grinned.

"So it is you! You could have fooled me! I thought you were Cinderella." I watched her shake her head.

"Poor Bella, don't you know anything? Cinderella had glass slippers." She pointed at her feet. "These are pink crocs."

"So they are," I conceded. Then the doorbell rang.

After paying the pizza delivery guy, Edward put the pizza out on the table along with salad and 4 plates, forks and cups. "Dinner is served!"

Drake slunk out of his room and cautiously glanced at me. "Hi, Drake," I said. He just sorta nodded. His focus was on the pizza. Edward put pizza on a plate for each child as we all sat around the table. Then Edward served me and then himself.

The pizza was very tasty. Drake ate like he hadn't eaten in days. Mary Elizabeth picked at hers, but manged to eat some of it. Edward was so busy watching the kids eat that he only managed a bite or two himself. He and I drank tea and the kids had fruit punch. Dinner was relatively quiet with Mary Elizabeth monopolizing the conversation talking about pizza and her pink crocs. I smiled as I listened to her go on and on.

After dinner Mary Elizabeth showed me her room. It was all pink with French white furniture. She had a twin sleigh bed and dresser. She also had a little rocking chair in the corner surrounded by stuffed animals and books. She held my hand as she showed me around.

"Bella, can you help me pack?" She looked up at me with smiling green eyes.

"Sure, where are you going?" I asked. I had no idea if we were planning a play trip or what.

"I have to go to Grammy and Pappy's to see Mommy," she stated. There was no emotion in her voice. It was simply a fact.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked. Her smile faded as she looked away.

"A whole week!" she huffed.

"Well, now," I said. "That would be seven days worth of outfits since there are seven days in a week." She looked at me and nodded her head. Then she went over to her closet and started to point at clothes.

"I like this one. Can you get it for me?" she asked.

"Of course," I said. I reached up and got one of her outfits. Then I got another and another and another until she had enough clothes for seven days. "Did you get your undies and socks, too?" I asked. Again, she gave me a thoughtful look. She pointed to the dresser.

"I can get these myself." she declared. She carefully counted out seven pair of panties and socks. Then she got a couple pairs of her shoes. We packed everything into her Cinderella suitcase. We sat on her bed, and I acted like I was very tired from all the packing. "Thank-you Miss Bella." She reached up and gave me a peck on my cheek. It reminded of me of my puppy giving me a puppy kiss when I was four. I couldn't help but giggle.

"You are quite welcome Miss Mary Elizabeth," I smiled. Then I heard the doorbell ring and watched her face fall into a sad little scrunch. I heard Edward talking to someone at the door.

"Drake, Mary Elizabeth, Pappy is here to get you." His voice sounded defeated.

The child grabbed her little suitcase off the bed and grudgingly dragged it to the door. In a sad little voice she said, "Bye, Daddy. Bye, Miss Bella." She and Drake were ushered out the door by an older gentleman with a hard look on his face. He saw me and froze.

"Didn't take you long, did it Edward?" The way he said it made my blood boil. "We will have to discuss this with the lawyer Monday morning," he said with a sneer. I was seeing red. I didn't know what the hell was going on, but I sure wasn't going to put up with this.

"Bye kids!" I said. "Have a wonderful week, and when you get back we can go and play on the playground, OK?" I smiled as I saw Mary Elizabeth peek around. There was a slight twinkle in her eye. "By the way, my name is Bella Swan, and I have been helping Edward keep an eye on the kids. I am his babysitter. My father is the chief of police in Forks, so I will gladly forward a copy of my references to your lawyer Monday morning if you would like." I hated pricks like him. I had fucked enough like him in my day to have developed a distaste for their personalities.

"Um, no, that won't be necessary Miss Swan." He turned quickly to Edward. "I'll bring them back in a week." And with that he put the kids in his black Mercedes and quickly pulled away.

I turned to look at Edward. He was staring at me, his mouth wide open.

"Cat got your tongue?" I asked him. He just shook his head. "Well, I think we should clean up, don't you?" And with that I headed into the kitchen and started washing dishes.

"Is your dad really the chief of police in Forks?" he asked.

"Um-hum," I answered. "That he is. My mom and step dad are in Phoenix." I finished up the dishes and looked around the kitchen.

"Well, Miss Swan, I am quite impressed with how you handled my ex-father-in-law. The look on his face was priceless." For the first time since the kids had left, Edward smiled.

"Well, I didn't like how Mary Elizabeth got sad around him," I told him. His smile faded.

"Yeah, I know. The kids don't like going to see them," he replied.

In the awkward silence that followed, I took the left-over pizza and placed it in the fridge. I spied some beer and a few bottles of wine. "Nice wine collection."

"Oh, that," he looked rather nervous.

"Well, I suppose I should get going," I said. He hesitated and looked around. I started to head toward the door when I felt his hand gently grab my arm and spin me around. The look of desperation in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"No, you don't have to leave. Would you like to stay and have a drink? Watch a movie?" His eyes were pleading with me.

"Sure," I said. "That sounds fun."

He exhaled and relaxed. "In that case, I will get down a couple of wine glasses. Did you see a bottle that particularly caught your eye?"

I shook my head. "No. Surprise me." I smiled as I went to sit on the couch.

"I keep my moves under the television. See if there is one you would like to see." I could hear him opening the bottle and clinking the glasses together as he brought them into the living room and placed everything on the coffee table. I flipped through the movies and decided on The Hangover. It was still wrapped, and I figured maybe he hadn't seen it yet. I hadn't, but had heard it was funny. Besides, I thought he needed funny.

"How about The Hangover?"

"Perfect! I haven't had the chance to watch it yet. Come over here and let me get the movie started." I watched as he bent over to put the DVD in the player. He had one hot ass. My mind wandered to what else he had that was hot. "There. All ready to go." He pushed play and came back over to the couch. He poured some wine in each glass and then offered one to me. "Um, Bella, I kinda need to tell you that I haven't had a woman over here since my divorce six months ago." He sheepishly looked at me. He was so adorable.

"Well, then," I said. "To new beginnings." He smiled at my toast.

"To new beginnings and new relationships," he said. I blushed. We clinked our glasses and relaxed into the movie.

**Wonder what will happen next. In case you are wondering, even I don't know. So, you and I will have to eagerly await the next installment to see what happens...**


	7. Chapter 7

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. That movie was hilarious. I felt so comfortable with Edward. I was relaxed and my mind wasn't racing with thoughts of how I wanted Edward to fuck me. In fact, I don't think I really spent any great deal of time thinking about myself in physically compromising positions with him throughout the entire movie. I wondered if this is how normal women function around men. I felt like a switch had been turned off inside me. I liked Edward and wanted to talk to him. I wanted to listen to him. I wanted to interact with him in ways that were non-sexual. But every once in a while, a picture from my dream popped up in my head and I felt heated. But just as quickly, something from the outside would push that vision away and replace it with a smiling Edward enjoying pizza with the kids. That vision made me feel so warm inside way up high in my chest. It gave me a feeling of contentment.

I sighed and looked at him once the movie ended. I really didn't want to go, but I didn't know what to do or say. I couldn't read him. If I shut my eyes and went on auto-pilot, I would have my hands all over him, but I didn't close my eyes. I just gazed into those intense green eyes and welled up with a shit-eating grin.

"Bella," he said. His voice was like honey and cream as I just continued to stare at him.

"Um-hum?" was all I could manage.

He suddenly appeared nervous like he was struggling to find the right words. "Bella, I have to be totally honest with you."

Maybe it was the blush of the wine, or all the feel good chemicals I was basking in from the hysterical movie, but whatever it was, my normal warning bells didn't go off like they should have.

"Yes, Edward?" I said.

"Um, well," he stammered, "I am sorta at a loss as to what to do." His glare penetrated me. I hadn't the foggiest idea what he was referring to. I frowned, my warm buzz slowly fading.

"I'm sorry," I said. "What do you mean?" What, did he not know how to turn off the DVD player? I was going to say that, but realized being a smart-ass was not going to do much good. I scrunched up my face in a puzzled look.

"This," he said as he waived his hand around himself and us. "I had a great time with you and the kids did, too, but I don't know what to do now that the movie is over." He looked away, clearly embarrassed. I decided to be a smart-ass.

"Well, in my vast life experience, I can tell you with certainty that you remove the disk from the player and either put in another one and press play or turn it off." I didn't crack not one smile.

He looked shell-shocked. I think I scared the shit out of him. Geeze, it was only a joke, something to lighten the mood. Maybe I did it wrong. Maybe I made him mad! Oh, no! I started to get nervous and felt my lips begin to shake. Then, something amazing happened. He laughed. It wasn't a ha-ha laugh, either. It was a belly-shaking, deep down to the core explosion from him of roaring guffaws. I was not sure if this was good or not. Now he was laughing at me? I started to panic again until he took my hand and held it as he tried in vain to cough out the words, "Oh, Bella! You are so cute!" Electricity shot through my hand at his touch, but I was quickly distracted as his laughter continued. I soon relaxed and found myself laughing with him. "That sounds like something Mary Elizabeth would say. _NO, Daddy! Duh! How can you NOT know that you are supposed to turn it off or put __in a new movie?_" He imitated her voice exactly. He even had her mannerisms of hands on her hips and shaking head. The thought of her made me smile again. His love for his children was so, so, sexy? NO, not that word! It was beautiful. It was all about warm fuzzies.

"Ya think?" I asked him, matching his laughter belly-shake for belly-shake.

"Absolutely," he said, and we both fell backwards into the couch continuing to laugh in hysterics. We turned toward each other, his hand still holding mine and our bodies came closer. I could feel his leg against mine and his shoulder against mine and the electricity coursing through my veins made an orgasm seem insignificant and unfullfiling. What was happening to me?

The laughter abruptly subsided, but we didn't move. Our gazes were entangled and something stirred within me. His gaze had become more intense. I fleetingly looked at the wine bottles we had shared....two were empty. I had only had a couple of drinks, so maybe he felt as relaxed as me. There was something different in his eyes that I didn't recognize. These were not the exact same eyes from my dream. Related, yes, but the eyes I was losing myself into this evening were Edward's.

Almost like watching a slow-motion video I watched as the space between us disappeared. I think we both were moving toward the other, but it was an eternity before I wondered if I was supposed to panic. His lips were soft against mine. His hands moved to my shoulders and then my back. I felt us press together and my mind shut down. What the fuck was happening? Did I want this? Did I want him? My body reacted as it always did when it was touched, but at the same time, my mind was somehow enhancing these sensations. My hands flew to his head, my fingers gently tousling his hair. My lips parted and his moved in tandem with mine, our tongues slowly exploring and tasting the others. I felt a heavy pounding against my chest and realized it was Edward's heart. It reverberated through to my soul.

We gently parted to breathe, him holding me close. "Oh, God, Bella. You feel so good." His voice was sad, lonely. I had no response. Suddenly he pushed himself away from me and jumped up from the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then started to run his hand through his hair. His head was shaking and he began to pace in front of the couch. To say I was confused was an understatement. I didn't understand. What had I done wrong? What else was wrong with me that he wouldn't want me?

The pain I had buried so long ago came clamoring to the top and choked me. I refused to let the pain control me again. No one ever pushed Bella Swan away. She pushed them away. They pursued me chased me, bribed me, and I chose who I lavished my attention upon. I decided who was worthy; it was never the other way around.

The seductress within me reared her head. I had been challenged. I would win. Emotions and sex were never connected, and yet I was allowing them to intertwine here. I liked Edward. I never liked anyone I fucked. I wanted to spend time with Edward and his kids. I wanted to share my hopes and dreams with him. I wanted to hear his ideas on love and the universe. But, I never wanted those things with anyone else, not since before...I had to stop this. My head was starting to hurt. I had to decide...was Edward going to be another notch on my belt, or was he going to be something different, something more?

"I am so sorry, Bella." His frazzled voice broke my internal dialogue. "I, I, I just don't know what came over me." He couldn't even look at me. Was I that awful? The black hole deepened within my chest. The pain of rejection flooded my consciousness. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. We had too much to drink, and I just let my desires take over, and," he slowly turned to look at me. He shook his head. "I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?" His eyes were frightened, like a lost child who was frantically searching for his parents in a crowded mall.

Huh? Advantage? Of me? Desires? Forgive? What was he talking about? And, why did he look so lost, like he was about to cry at any moment? It was as if he were feeling pain. But, why? I was even more confused. He had just rejected me! No one fucking does that, but who in hell rejects someone and apologizes for it and goes on about taking advantage of you and of having desires for you? What was his game? Above his head I saw a family picture of him, Mary Elizabeth and Drake. They were smiling a smile that I had only see Mary Elizabeth show me thus far. My God, was it that simple? Was it possible that he was SERIOUS and he wasn't playing any type of game? How is it possible? I didn't understand.

"Please, say something," he pleaded. He was terrified, but of what, I hadn't any idea.

I go up from the chair and walked toward him. He looked like a frightened caged puppy. He wanted to trust me, but he just wasn't sure.

I stood close enough to feel the electricity buzz wildly between us and stared at him. I slowly licked my parched lips and asked, "Desires?" I stood statue still and waited.

He exhaled. "Yes."

I tilted my head. "Do you desire me, Edward?" I moved my knees forward and brushed his leg.

"Yes," he whispered. I could hear his heart and see the rise and fall of his chest with each passing second.

I leaned my waist into him and moved my lips to his ear. I ghosted his earlobe with my tongue as I whispered, "Tell me what you want, Edward." I knew what I was doing; I was in my element. I moved just close enough to feel his arousal.

"I, I, I..." he stuttered. "I don't know what I want." His voice was raspy, rushed. His answer did not mesh with what I had expected. I didn't move. I repeated my question. He took my head into his hands and gazed once again into my eyes. "I want to know what I have been missing for the last 15 years of my life. What do you want, Bella?" He did not release my head from his hands. He held me like I was a fragile work of art. I hadn't expected him to turn my question around on me.

"I, um, I..." I stuttered worse than he did. Could I confide in him what I really wanted? Before I could stop myself, I said, "I want to be loved, and to love in return." My answer was short, but honest. If I could find that, my demons would go away forever. At least, I hoped.

"That is so beautiful." He smiled and then he did the most unexpected thing. "Bella, may I kiss you again?"

I had never been asked that before. I just opened my mouth and nodded. His lips glided down to mine and he moved his hands down to my waist. He gently pulled me toward him as we shared the most beautiful and tender kiss. I felt as though I had never been truly intimate with a man before this night, this kiss. As our lips parted once again, he rested his forehead against mine.

"Bella, I want to do this right. I want to take things slow and get to know you. I guess, well, would you consider going out with me for a real date? " His voice was so hopeful suddenly. I could still feel his arousal, but it was not the most pressing matter at present.

"I would like that very much, Edward." I blushed and looked away.

"Your blush is beautiful. You are so innocent, Bella," he said and he stroked his hand through my hair. "Can I pick you up tomorrow at 7 pm?"

"Sure," was all I could say. Innocent? Beautiful? These words were foreign to me. But, somehow Edward's eyes helped anchor those words in my mind. Was it possible that I could have what I really wanted? Could I love this man? Could he love me? The possibilities were endless, but a small voice, the voice of reality, wouldn't stop its low-pitched buzzing that this was an exercise in futility. It was frantically trying to regain the control that I was in danger of losing forever to Edward. "Seven o'clock, my apartment. How should I dress?"

He looked thoughtfully at me for a moment. "Casual, jeans, t-shirt,tennis shoes, light jacket. Um, can I walk you home?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much." I got my jacket and Edward took my hand as he walked me back to my apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Sorry so long for the update. School is winding down and I have been at a standstill with the plot thus far. School is out at the end of the month, and I will have more time to work on my story. I also have another story I am thinking about, but won't start it until after school is out. Please enjoy the story I have crafted using SM's characters. I own nothing and get no money from this story.**_

_**

* * *

**_

The walk back to my apartment seemed to take no time at all. Edward bid me goodnight, asked if he might kiss me one last time, and I was once again in uncharted territory. His kiss was gentle, passionate and safe. I felt so safe in his arms. Our lips parted and he squeezed my hand goodbye. I watched him walk away and felt an overwhelming sadness I couldn't explain. I sighed and went inside. The clock said it was only 10:30 pm, and I remembered I had to call Elizabeth. I hope it wasn't too late.

I dialed her number and it rang once before she picked up.

"Bella, hello. How was the rest of your day?" She sounded so upbeat.

"Um, it was good. I had dinner with some people from here at the complex I met yesterday." I wasn't sure how much detail I wanted to go into with her, but I figured she'd ask anyway.

"Really? That is wonderful. Tell me about them." She waited anxiously for my answer.

"Well, it was this guy and his kids. He is divorced and seems really nice. And, he has the most adorable children. His daughter is three and his son is about 9. Anyway, we had pizza and watched a movie." I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. I decided to throw in, "Yeah, it was kind of an introduction dinner for the kids. I have offered to sit for them if he needs me to." I paused and prayed she bought it. I mean, I wasn't totally lying. The kids were there for pizza.

"I see." Her voice was cautious.

"Yes, it was a very relaxing evening. I really enjoyed the whole family interaction." I hated this awkward silence. Why did I feel so guilty?

"Well, that is so nice, dear." I couldn't tell if she was genuine or condescending. Maybe she was trying to gauge my reaction. "It is always good to make new friends."

"Um, yeah," was all I could manage to choke out.

"So, I was thinking," she interjected, "Would you like to join my husband and me for dinner tomorrow night?" Oh, no! My date with Edward. Too late, now. Guess I would have to come clean on that. I felt like I would be confessing all of my sins that day to her at this rate.

"Tomorrow night? Um, well, I sorta have plans, actually." I knew she would ask for me to elaborate, so I just bit the bullet. "You see, I, uh, I sorta have a date with that guy tomorrow night." I held my breath.

"Oh," was all she said. "Another family date?" I could hear the concern in her voice. It would be so easy to lie, like she would ever know.

"Um, no, actually. His kids are with their mom this week, so it will just be me and him." I was so pushing the envelope. I just knew she would go immediately to Carlisle.

"Isabella," she said my whole fucking name. Oh, great, here it goes. "Bella, I am so glad that you feel you can confide this to me." Whoa! This was so not what I was expecting. She actually sounded happy for me! "Just promise that if you need to talk before, during or after your date that you will call me, OK? And, I definitely expect to hear all the details of how the evening went." I was stunned.

"Oh, um, OK."

"Bella, I have faith in you that you will do the right thing and make the right choices. When you feel you might stray or feel tempted to make the wrong choice, that is why I am here. Just remember that, OK?" She had faith in me? Oh, wow. She had faith in me! Somewhere inside my heart I felt joy, pride...fear. I was afraid I'd let her down like I had let Carlisle and Esme down only a few months ago. But, we got through it, and they still loved me. I had to smile at how good that made me feel.

"Gee, thanks Elizabeth. That means more than I can ever tell you." I beamed into the phone, even though she couldn't see my face.

"Well, I will be letting you go. Get some rest and call me tomorrow. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight," I said.

Well, that conversation was interesting. But, now, I am getting a little nervous about my date. I decided to get my furniture moved around my room like I wanted it and put fresh linens on my bed. I had a lovely king sized bed with a soft, memory-foam pillow topper for my sleeping comfort. I loved 600 thread-count luxury sheets and enjoyed running my hands and cheek along them for their softness. My room was my special place. It was my sanctuary where I could just relax. My comforter was black and gold as were my curtains that I put up. I had a ton of pillows to sink into. I was so tired after all the events of the day. Tomorrow was going to be my lazy day, although I would continue to get the place in order before Alice's arrival in another couple of weeks. I also had to get everything ready for work next week. So much for being lazy. After I got everything ready and took a relaxing shower, I got into bed. I never wore clothes to bed. I liked to feel the smooth sheets against my skin. And, tonight, I really enjoyed the smooth feeling against my body. I allowed my mind to wander, and before I knew it, I was touching myself. I knew I shouldn't, but I was so wound up over everything, it just felt so good.

My hands soon became his large, strong hands gliding over my entire body, cupping my sex. I rocked back and forth remembering all the hedonistic fun I had experienced in this bed. I soon drifted off feeling so good, relaxed. It was nice to be able to sleep.

I awoke the next day and thought I had peed in the bed. I was so wet, so aroused. I moved my hand down to my clit, rubbed once, and came so hard I thought I would pass out. I recognized this feeling. It was going to be a multiple morning. I was rubbing again and leaking with arousal. Where was a hard dick or two when I needed them? Ah, my toy! I walked, as though in a trance, to my toy, cleaned it, returned to my bed and stared to ease myself down onto it. Another intense orgasm rocked through me. I kept going. I rocked harder and more fiercely. Yes! It was so thick, so deep. I needed this. Then, a wicked thought came to me. My ass had been neglected for so long. Again, as though possessed by another, I went to the bathroom and retrieved the Vaseline. I lathered it on my tight rosebud. Then, I lathered it on my toy. I lay on my side and slowly inserted it into my rectum. I pulled it out and pushed it back in. Oh, Fuck! I hadn't been ass fucked in so long. I quickened the pace. I pushed it past my upper barrier and started to fuck my self hard with it. My other hand went to my pussy and I put 4 fingers in and double-fucked myself like mad. The pressure was building and I was ready to fucking explode! "Oh, fuck, oh, fuck....OH, FUCK!" I came and came and came and clamped down with so much force I thought I'd break my fingers and my dildo. But, I didn't; I just enjoyed wave after wave after wave consuming me, dragging me under, taking me completely. When I awoke again, it was 9 am. Time to get a shower and get my daily activities started. I was so drunk with orgasms I was afraid to drive for breakfast. Luckily for me I had some pop-tarts in my purse.

* * *

I love pop-tarts!


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the long wait. I got inspired, so here it is. SM owns Twilight and all characters.**

My first stop of the day was the grocery store. I promised Alice I would stock up on the basics. I enjoyed grocery shopping while Alice loved clothes shopping. She wasn't into food as much as clothes. I wondered what she would think if we went shopping for edible undies. As I giggled to myself I accidently ran my buggy into the buggy of an older gentleman who seemed very angry until he saw me with my hand over my mouth.

"I am so sorry!" I started to get hysterical when he walked around and assured me all was fine. He appeared to be in his early 50's and was in excellent shape. I noticed no ring on his finger, but a huge bulge in his pants that I was sure wasn't there only a moment earlier. My breath hitched as I took in his beautiful blue eyes, and graying head full of hair. He was blushing! And, I felt his eyes looking through my clothes as he just got harder and harder. He placed his hands on mine and I flooded my panties on the spot.

"Please, my dear, it is quite all right." I smiled my seductive little smile. What was wrong with me? I must still be dizzy from all the orgasms, and I was quite sure I was going to have another one on the spot.

"Thanks. I am new to the city and everything is just so overwhelming." I batted my eyes at his to show him my dialed pupils and the effect he was having on me.

"Yes, dear, it certainly can be." His hands lingered on mine, and I blushed the darkest shades of pink.

"I am John," he said as he introduced himself.

"I am Bella."

"Beautiful, so like your name, if you don't mind me saying." I couldn't help but giggle as he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.

In my husky, lust-filled voice, I whispered, "I don't mind." With that his eyes widened and he smiled.

"So, Bella, would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?" He leaned closer and brushed his firm manhood against my thigh. My breath hitched. I came right there as he whispered in my ear, "I think you and I could be very close friends. Come with me."

Again, in a trance I followed him to the small coffee shop located beside the grocery store.

"My dear, I am afraid I have the advantage. I must admit that I followed you here and arranged for our little meeting. I was at the meeting the other night. I know Elizabeth quite well, and to be honest, if she knew what I was doing she would have my ass. But, Bella, I am so drawn to you."'

Elizabeth? Meeting? Oh, holy hell! I was having coffee with Satan.

"Right." I stared at him in disbelief.

"Bella, I have been in recovery for 12 years and in all that time I have never once been tempted as much as you tempted me that night and then again today. I think that when two people have the same sex drive and desires, it is no longer addiction. You have to admit, you have to miss it and you can't live without it."

He stared into my eyes and stroked my hand. He was hypnotizing, but I knew it was a line of BS.

"Bella, have you ever cared for any of the guys you fucked?" I all but spit my coffee right out of my mouth.

In all honesty, I really hadn't. I shook my head.

"What I propose is this, Bella. Let's take some time to get to know each other, become real friends." Oh the sincerity in his eyes.

"Ok, John, gotta ask, why me?"

He smiled and took a deep breath.

"All I ask is honesty. So, I am going to be totally honest with you. You remind me of someone I loved and lost long ago. You remind me of my first wife who died in a car wreck less than a year after we were married. She was pregnant, with a girl, my daughter. Losing them was what caused me to start acting out. I had quite the reputation as a serial dater fucker before I found the group. I have money and power and with that come women. I fucked a new girl every night and day but nothing could take my mind off of my loss and ease the pain. She had been my first and only until she died. I hurt so many people, Bella. I never forced anyone to do anything, but greed makes for loose women. My only friend from that time is Elizabeth. She stood beside before and after the accident. She stood my side through all the women. In the end, she showed me I needed help. I love her dearly as a friend, and I can't believe I am jeopardizing everything with her to be with you. I have heard her and Carlisle talk about you for a long time. They all love you, and through them, I guess I have learned to love you, too."

I was crashing hard. The caffeine, this man's story and the tears in his eyes…WTF?

"Isabella," and I was startled by use of my full name, "Have you ever truly made love to a man and had a man make love to you. I don't mean just fucking, I mean, passionate, earth-shattering love making?"

I was shaking my head no so slowly. These ideas were foreign to me. That was the stuff of fairy tales.

"Do you want that?" My mind flashed to Edward.

I slowly nodded my head yes.

"Let me give you that Isabella." He pleaded with such compassion. I was almost taken in.

"Ok, your place or mine?" Oh, how cheeky I felt right now.

He looked confused. "Sure Elizabeth won't feel left out? Maybe I should call her and tell her threesome at my place in an hour?"

The look on his face was off. I couldn't tell if it was horror or lust or sheer panic.

I pulled out my phone and he just stared at me.

"Ok," he said. "I will ask her permission to court you. In fact, next Saturday I have a function to attend and I would very much like you to accompany me there along with Elizabeth and her husband."

My jaw dropped as I lowered my phone. I accidently hit the internet button and it went straight to my news homepage.

He sat grinning at me as I glanced down at my phone. I looked again and grabbed the phone and looked very closely at the lead story.

**RECLUSIVE BILLIONAIRE JOHN BANNER TO SPEAK AT ANNUAL CHARITY BALL NEXT SATURDAY EVENING**

Beneath the headline was a picture of the man sitting in front of me in an Armani suit cutting the ribbon in front of a children's hospital wing named in honor of his deceased wife and daughter.

"Something interesting you see there, Bella?" I was sure there was no way he had seen that story on my phone.

"Um, John, what is your last name? Because I am pretty sure you already know mine is Swan."

He smiled as he took another sip of his coffee. "It is Banner."

"So, John Banner, is there anything special about you? I mean, I find your name vaguely familiar but I can't place it." I did my best to feign innocent eyes.

He giggled. He freaking giggled. "I am a businessman."

"You said you had wealth and power?"

"You could say that." I was amusing him.

I turned my phone on and showed him the article. "This is YOU?" I asked wide-eyed, and still in disbelief.

"Hmmm…yes, it is. That picture was from last year's ball. Does this change anything?" His eyes were more concerned than amused.

"Well, of course it does! I, I, I, you're a freaking billionaire and you want to court me?" I just stared at him.

Relief washed over his face. "That pretty much sums it up. It's only money Isabella. I am just plain old John who fancies you." He batted his eyelashes.

I read the article a little closer. "Um, how old are you John?"

He looked hurt. "My age wasn't an issue earlier. I thought you wanted an older man?"

"It isn't an issue, it is just that I am sure you know my age and I just wanted to know."

"How old does the paper say I am?"

I smiled. "Um, late 40's I think."

"Isabella, I am 51, but my doctor assures me I have the body of a 30 year old. And, I don't need Viagra." With that he winked at me.

"Yeah, I could tell."

"I love it when you smile, dear. You are so beautiful. Will you do me the honor of accompanying me to the ball?"

"Um, ok. But I don't have anything to wear."

"Well, it just so happens I have already taken care of that." He pulled out his wallet and took out a black American Express Card and handed it to me. I took it and looked at it.

"I have chosen a few selections from a design house in Paris. They are flying in tomorrow afternoon for you to make a final selection and be fitted. I hope you don't mind."

Mind? So, why the card. I looked again. It had my name on it!

"John, I can't take this!"

"Yes you can and you will. You will need shoes and jewelry and other essentials."

I looked away and bit my lip. I was starting to get upset.

"Bella, what's the matter, honey?"

I looked him straight in the eyes and couldn't believe the next words out of my mouth.

"Mr. Banner, I will not be your whore!" And with that I threw the card in his face and stormed out the door in tears.

I heard him running behind me. "Bella, Bella, you have it all wrong!"

I turned to him with angry tears and asked him to explain it to me, then.

"Bella, I am so sorry, it is just that I have been waiting for you for so long. I never thought you would ever think, uuuhhh."

Then, he started to cry silent tears as he stroked mine away. He held me close and hugged me tight. His erection was gone. Why was I thinking about that? Maybe I really was a whore?

"Bella, I never meant to imply anything other than the fact that I want to love you and take care of you. I want to worship you and honor you and be with you for the rest of my life."

"But you don't know me."

"I know enough. Please give me a chance? Even an hour holding you like this is the closest to heaven I will ever have."

I don't know how to describe it, but I felt close to him, and I couldn't deny that I wanted to be with him, and that scared me. But I also wanted Edward. I guess the question was would Edward ever want someone like me?

"Spend the day with me, Bella. I want to just walk and talk and be with you if that is ok?" John jarred me from my musings.

"I really have to buy food or Alice will be mighty hungry when she gets here. And, she will punish me by dragging me shopping, and I hate to shop."

"Well, we are going to have to change that. How about I have one of my people take care of the shopping for you?"

"Um, ok." This is nuts! I am blowing off the day to spend with some rich old guy who thinks he is in love with me? I must still be asleep or high on something.

John and I spent the rest of the day at the park, eating lunch at McDonald's and playing at the playground. He wanted me to have dinner with him also, but I told him I had already made plans with someone in the building whose kids I was going to be keeping some. His eyes lit up when he heard about the kids. We discussed how he never found the right woman after his wife to share children with and how I wanted a house full of them. Great sadness filled his eyes as I talked about the future. He tried to mask it with his billion-dollar smile, but I could already tell there was something he wasn't telling me.

I agreed to drive out to his estate after my dinner with Edward. I had almost forgotten about that and seriously considered cancelling until John encouraged me to enjoy myself. He also insisted in sending a car out to pick me up from my apartment. I promised to call him when I was done.

I got ready for my date with Edward and just looked around my new apartment. Somehow John had managed to have my entire kitchen stocked with enough food to feed the army. Oh what fun I was gonna have in here!

I was dressed in a casual sundress with a sweater and let my hair hang down in curls around my shoulders. I was stunning, but it wasn't just a physical thing. I was going on a date!

At seven my doorbell rang and I rushed to the door to answer it. When I opened it, I froze. A suit, flowers and a shy grin waited for me. I wanted to jump him on the spot!

"Hi, Bella. Wow, you are breathtaking!" He was as frozen as I was.

"So are you." I smiled and invited him in.

"So, how was your day," he asked as he gave me the flowers to put in a vase of water.

"Um, interesting. I got to explore some of the city today."

"Well, I plan on showing you some more of the city tonight." He walked over behind me as I put the flowers on the table. He placed his hands on my waist and leaned into my ear. "My God, Bella, you are beautiful." I got goose bumps everywhere as he touched me with his hands and his breath. I could tell he was careful not to poke me with himself. "Come my dear. I have 7:30 reservations at Bella Rosa Casa. It is by far the best restaurant in town." I smiled at his eagerness. I picked up my purse and followed him to his car. He was a complete gentleman and opened the door for me. I blushed and he noticed.

The ride to dinner was filled with talk about music and how he wanted to call the kids in the restaurant at 8:00 to tell them goodnight. I thought that was a wonderful idea. He said he was afraid I might think it rude, but hoped that I would understand. I smiled and even offered to say goodnight, too. At that, he smiled.

My mind had almost forgotten about the earlier events of the day until I went to the ladies room once we arrived at the restaurant. I was standing in front of the mirror when I heard my name.

"Bella!" I looked up and there was Elizabeth looking back at my reflection.

"Elizabeth! Oh, I was going to call you after my date."

She gave me a huge hug. I was so glad to see her.

"A lot happened today and I wanted to talk to you about it." I could see her smiling. I wonder how much she knew.

"Well, how is your date going?" Her motherly smile was so warm.

"Oh, it is so wonderful. He is so wonderful. But,"

"Uh-oh, but what?" Her face filled with concern.

"I met a friend of yours today." I bit my lip and her eyes started to squint.

"A friend of mine? Well, who was it?" I wasn't sure if this was the time or place to be having this conversation.

"Um, I really need to get back to my date Elizabeth. Can we talk about this tonight?" I became very fidgety and she was definitely getting suspicious.

"Who was it Bella?" There was an edge to her voice and I feared she was getting angry.

"Um, please don't be mad, but it was John. John Banner." I peeked up to gage her reaction. She was still as stone. I could hardly tell she was breathing.

"What did he say to you?" Her voice was low, shaky. It was like she was frightened of being overheard.

"Um, way more than I want to go into right now. But, he did invite us, you and me and your husband to a ball next Saturday night." Again, I was waiting for her backlash. It never came.

"I see. Did you accept?" Her eyes penetrated mine. They were the most intense green. They reminded me that I needed to get back to my date.

"Um, yes. Is that ok?" I sounded like a child asking her mother's permission to get a cookie from the cookie jar.

She hesitated. She started to speak a few times, but always stopped before she could start. She was deep in thought.

"When is your date going to be over?" was her final response.

"I don't know. Maybe midnight. We are going to a movie after dinner and then a nice stroll along the boardwalk."

"Bella, we really need to sit down and have a long talk about this." The way she looked at me made me start to wonder if I had overstepped some major boundaries.

"Did I do something wrong? Nothing happened with him! Nothing!" I don't know what possessed me to lash out at Elizabeth. Her face reflected her shock.

"Oh, no, dear. You did nothing wrong. Please, I didn't mean to imply…please, I just want to make sure you know about some things, ok? I don't want anyone to get hurt." She put her arms around me and hugged me.

"He wants to court me, Elizabeth. He said he was going to ask your permission." At those words she froze, but only for a moment.

"Ok, Bella, we will talk when you get home, alright?" There was a pleading in her eyes that I just couldn't understand.

"Um, yeah, ok." I quickly headed out the door and back to the table where Edward was wrapping up his goodnight conversation with his kids. I wasn't sure I had heard Elizabeth following me or not, but I hoped she would stay away and let me enjoy my nice, normal date with a normal guy. Edward was smiling and winked at me as I sat down. Then, his face fell. He looked very angry and he was looking at me, or rather just above my head. Behind me, I heard a gasp.

Edward shut his phone off and got out of his chair, throwing down his napkin. My heart broke and I didn't even know why. He stormed toward me and then calmed himself and he took my arm.

"I'm sorry Bella, but we need to leave NOW." I got up, shocked and frightened.

"What's wrong, Edward?" The tears I had held back in the restroom had started to flow.

"Edward Anthony Mason! Let go of Bella's arm now!" I spun around and saw green eyes staring into a mirror of green eyes.

I started to shake and then I couldn't breathe. Everything sorta went blurry before it went black. All I remember hearing was Edward hissing "mother."

**YIKES, A CLIFFIE!**

**OK, SO I KNOW NO ONE SAW ANY OF THIS COMING, WELL, MOST OF IT ANYWAY. I KNOW I CERTAINLY DIDN'T. STAY TUNED AND LET'S SEE WHERE THIS ALL GOES! THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AND ALERTS. THIS WRITING STUFF IS FUN!  
**


End file.
